KUMARI

There is a saying that when you find your spiritual teacher this is when your life truly begins. For me the proof is in the experience as these days I feel a sense of fulfilment steadily growing within myself, and an enthusiasm to share with other serious seekers the solace that guidance is available to each one of us in the moment we are ready to receive it. I feel for the first time in my life unwaveringly certain on my spiritual path with a maturing inner knowing that in the SACRED Sangha under the profound and personalised spiritual guidance of Raaman, I am in safe hands and my direction is set. 

 

For years before, I hopped and jumped between many different approaches to spirituality, always afraid that I might be delving too deep into the wrong one. I became completely lost and overwhelmed amongst the manifold offerings, the literature, the concepts and ideas. I wasted copious amounts of time and effort questioning, back-stepping, worrying about whether I was going the right way.

 

I also studied long and hard to attain a Masters in Architecture as well as two Bachelors and a myriad of certificates, and then acquired a position in a large firm and created my own business. And yet after all this I finally realised that exhausting myself to save this planet was not working and that it is impossible to heal my outer world without determining which inner beliefs were making it so.

 

With the immense support and direction I receive through the Sangha, I am developing the self-confidence and inner faith I have been needing to dive in as deeply and enthusiastically as I dare. My spiritual quest has had its ‘edge’ taken off as all that energy previously squandered is now being rechanneled into advancing wholeheartedly in my chosen path. Through this process of inner work, Raaman with great love and grace, is connecting me with his lineage of spiritual masters and teachers. And it is with these masters, saints and sages that my inner voice, my higher guidance, my inner knowing develops and becomes one and the same. With the long discipleship of these spiritual beings to teachers before them, I discover an immense strength and  validation within myself for my highest transformation.

 

I discuss it often with the other members of our Sangha. How to share with someone who doesn’t have a guru or a spiritual teacher, how it is to be with one? How to explain the incredible grace and ease and flow that is on offer to every person when we seek and find our teacher in this chaotic world to help reunite us with True Self. In the east this is most commonplace but in the west we struggle with this need. After years of trying everything and arriving at a point of no longer knowing what else to do, the strong realisation came to me that I need a master’s help. And mercifully during this time, Raaman came into my life along with his inspiring group of students to show me a new reality and possibility of living. Admittedly it was not an easy step to take to join the Sangha. All my biggest fears came up in the moment when this became a likely possibility. With all the inauthentic guru stories going around which arouse much controversy and doubt, it felt difficult to determine what was true and what was fear and it was only by inquiring deeply and trusting in my own Higher Guidance that I was able to make the leap…and I am so grateful I did. This infinite blessing of receiving guidance to lighten the load – an external flame to alight my own inner flame – feels almost too good to be true but the confirmation is in my realised experience.

 

Many of you who have met Raaman in satsang, workshop or session well know it is not always easy to be faced so directly with your inherent anxieties, difficulties and frustrations. I know for myself that in the moment Raaman directs awareness into a disserving pattern or past pain he sees within me it can be extremely uncomfortable to accept as it often brings up strong emotions as it releases. This powerful process stirs everything up and then it is up to me to be with it emotionally and mentally, and to process further any thoughts and feelings that overcome me. However because it is always done with love, it is with all certainty that light gradually enters into this energy field and life begins to flow again with a fresh vigour, hindering beliefs drop and things become easier.

 

At these times when past pains are stirred up, the incredible support of the SACRED Sangha is hugely beneficial and even fundamental in helping to pull me through into the awaiting light and peace. Upheld by these divine souls of the SACRED Sangha, so diligent, sensitively-attuned and dedicated to their inner work and an evergrowing devotion to God, we create an environment for deeply supportive transformational healing.

 

To me SACRED Release is miracle work that literally changes the course of experienced life as pains and past beliefs are brought into conscious awareness and supported to be released. As a group we offer one another SACRED Release sessions bringing in deep relaxation and connection to our shared Higher Guidance. Learning this divine art of clairvoyance in direct connection with Higher Truth is strengthening my belief in myself and in a higher power. It is giving me divine access to my own processes and a means to help others. For the first time I feel like I am forming authentic and lasting relationships. Having this SACRED tool means that difficulties lose their power and instead become opportunities for profound healing to occur. Light and awareness is brought in to dissipate the underlying past trauma playing out making new space for compassion in the giver and receiver.

 

In this blessed environment of feeling supported and honoured to be who I truly am, I can feel the softness of my innate femininity, previously caught up in conceptual ungrounded ideas, gently begin to blossom. All my life I have believed I need to be a strong, powerful, independent woman. That I had to fend for myself and protect myself in this dangerous world otherwise I judged myself as being weak and needy. But within such an empathetic and caring Sangha, I see myself questioning this aggressive need for self-reliance. I see how my divine feminine is in reality very vulnerable and has been hurt and overridden before which is why she sometimes disproportionately lashes out as she relives a past trauma. And now as I am being offered the space and the love I need to feel secure, so too does it become more possible for irrelevant beliefs and blocks to come up, be seen, processed and released. As I let go strong-minded pained beliefs that I need to overly protect myself, I am amazed to see the physical evidence in my face and my body as my features relax and soften in surrender to my true nature.

 

For me there can be no turning back at this point. To know a life without God and then to experience a life with Him are two completely different realities. One is lonely, scary, stressful and untrusting, a proud yet artificial autonomy. While life with God is an utter relief, like coming in from the storm, awakening to the truth that I am deeply taken care of, that I am worthy, appreciated and eternally loved. I open to this truth with the grace of a highly committed teacher and Sangha and with the SACRED Release work which have  been vital for me to feel safe and supported to undergo deep transformation, to face very challenging traumas and blocks, and to keep me continually on-track and in a field of evergrowing love and care.

 

I am truly blessed.

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RAANI

…When Raaman came into my life (in July 2011) I was living a very comfortable life on the tropical island of Koh Phangan, in Thailand. At this point I had been practicing yoga (very seriously) for about three years, and was desperately searching for something meaningful on the spiritual path. I had come to a point, where I felt that yoga wasn’t doing it, my relationship with my boyfriend was not doing it, and I was getting lost and distracted in the beautiful illusion I had created for myself. I was starting to seriously consider retreating into a convent somewhere, as the only option I could think of really to go deeper and to move forward on my path. For a while I had been calling out into the universe for a teacher, a personal teacher, who can take me deeper, by the hand, if necessary. This is when Raaman appeared on Koh Phangan, right in the yoga community I had made my home in. After just some minutes of him chaneling teachings in the Satsang I attended, a voice spoke to me loud and clear inside of me saying “This is your teacher”. It was the first time in my life when I heard my inner voice, and there was no doubt in my mind. I knew my life had changed forever. All my desperate pleas and prayers had been heard and answered, and I was about to seriously start my spiritual path….

More than six years of intense work on myself followed since joining Raaman. During that time I have spent long intense periods in Raaman’s direct presence and also long periods by myself applying all that I have learned. With the constant support and guidance from Raaman, I finally had to (and was able to) face those wounds I had not wanted to know about and had been successfully suppressing from myself all my life. All the ideas I had of myself have been uprooted over and over again. My ego has been dismantled, destructed and destroyed, all my beliefs have been ripped out from their core with no mercy, and I have realized (with shock) that nothing I ever thought of myself was true. It has been a very deep journey into myself. Going through times when everything felt like falling apart, and times of intense bliss and Love. Neither of those times would I change for anything. I was brought back to life, finally started living and feeling again after being so numb to life for so long, and yet not knowing there was anything different.

I had so many ideas of what it means to be spiritual, and these all had to be broken and thrown out. Now I just find that it is something that is so simple, so natural, that there is hardly anything to say about it. It is just about getting closer and closer to oneself, dropping all masks and as a result becoming more and more or who I really am. The longer I am on this path, the less I feel there is to say about who I have become, because essentially I have not become anything, I have simply dropped more of who I was not in the first place anyway. What has happened is that I have grown in many qualities that I appreciate and value (and did not know I had), and as a result I am becoming a person I can love and respect increasingly more every day. I am growing in patience and compassion, developing in my integrity and honesty, learning to love myself, becoming more confident, relying on God more and more. I feel God is guiding my life, and I surrender more and more to it. I see how my life becomes ever more beautiful, ever more blessed, a life I could have never imagined existing. I am each day being surprised of the richness, fullness and gifts that God is giving.

 

Looking back on how I was before, where I came from, it feels nothing short of a miracle, how much I have changed in this short time and what is becoming of me. To be where I am today, took a lot of work. It took the never-ending patience and guidance of my teacher, Raaman, and his ongoing belief in me, that I can do it, and that it is worth taking me through this path. Many times when I was ready to give up, it was Raaman’s faith that kept me going. As I saw that Raaman is not giving up on me, I thought there must be some reason for that, some reason for me to keep going despite all the challenges (by my ego) along the way. It was Raaman’s work on me, his relentless guidance and correction, as well as his trust and faith in God for bringing me to him as a student and keeping with me, which carried me through when I couldn’t trust and believe in myself. I know none of this would have been possible without a teacher, without Raaman. What I did by myself is relatively small, though important part of where I am today. I worked as hard as I could, which many times was not so much. I did not give up though I many times felt like it. I cried a lot and prayed a lot, and the rest is simply the Grace of God. A manifold reward for the efforts I made, so I can be where I am today.

I feel fulfilled in my soul, and I finally feel like I have started on the mission I came on this planet for. The SACRED work, that is my path, is so deeply fulfilling for me, I cannot really call it work. I work on myself purifying myself continuously, calling on God each time, through it staying in connection with Him, with myself. And now I am able to pass this gift onto others too through SACRED sessions. Now in turn giving others this healing opportunity and helping them take the next step on their path towards God. It is the deepest fulfilment for my soul, being used as an instrument of God, and doing His work. Every day I am witnessing His miracles of healing, and having the honour and privilege to act as an instrument of bringing this to other souls on their path. I feel so fulfilled on every level of my being. I could not ask for anything more.

To finish off, here is a fruit of one of the previously hidden gifts that have opened for me on this path, a poem that came through me about a year ago …

 

Poetry of Existence

Life is: living, breathing, pulsing poetry in motion

Inspiration, creation, expansion

Life in its highest form

Joy of discovery, joy of life

Feeling myself as part of Creation

Every intricate piece of existence in its place

Breathing together as One

One living breathing organism

God’s creation in its perfection

The miracle of Being … and I am part of it!

A peace settles in me as I realize,

through the depth of my being,

That I too, am an intricate piece of creation

No more, no less important, than any other piece

I am a Miracle of Being,

a miracle of Life… unfolding,

as God intended

Divine perfection in its manifestation

God through me expressing itself anew in each moment

I have a place in this Universe

Living, breathing, pulsing as One,

interconnected perfectly,

Through every fibre of our Being

A peace settles, a joy in discovering

My part, as One

In the Poetry of Existence

 

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NIRMAN

Before meeting Raaman and his Sangha students, I had been searching for help for 22 years. It all started at the age of 21 when I got severely sick: I developed difficulties to walk, had to stop running, and my eyes could not stand the day light anymore. The many doctors I visited had been of little help.

At the age of 25, I started yoga with the hope I would find a way to heal. I quickly became aware that my body was holding a lot of of physical tensions. Assuming these tensions originated in traumatic experiences, I underwent many different kinds of traditional and alternative psychotherapies. From Gestalt therapy to rebirthing, and from Chi Kong to Tantra.Even becoming a sannyasin of the popular Indian Master Osho, hoping that this will bring some relief to my hopeless state of being. After 11 years of investigations which brought a certain tension release, I dropped psychotherapy. The 9 following years, I spent most of my holidays in retreats with satsang teachers.

Three years ago the pain in my feet made walking very difficult,Besides of that I suffered suffered all day when \i was working in front of the computer. After one year without any prospect of healing, I decided I had to quit my job in Europe. A few months later, I went to live in Thailand in order to fully devote myself for my much needed healing. There, emotions from   traumatic childhood experiences arose again. Although I had been feeling them every now and then for 20 years, I never succeeded to remember or re-experience these traumas, non the less work through them and heal myself.

Being desperate, I prayed to the universe for help . I could not bear any more pain.

Then I met Raaman. He was just walking in front of my bungalow. After my first individual session, I knew he was the man that could help me, so I joined all his healing events, satsangs and man groups on the island.

I also participated inthe SACRED retreats, where Raaman initiates people and teaches in a learning-by-doing way how to give Sacred Work sessions. These latter are emotional release sessions happening in a state of deep relaxation (nothing to do with the hard emotional release work, like rebirthing, I experienced in the past). It is named Sacred Work because it received the blessings of Sai Baba. After the first workshop, I started very enthusiastically to offer SACRED sessions to friends: all of them were surprised of diving so deeply into their emotions and to feel healed and transformed after them. They were all amazed to see me suddenly being capable of giving such powerful and profound healing sessions.

After several months in Thailand, I decided to follow Raaman and his other students to Sai Baba’s ashram in India. This place felt unfamiliar to me. And I had to drop my resistances to open myself to Sai Baba.

Through the sessions exchanged with the other students of the SACRED Sangha, I started to be able to enter past emotional states on my own. Finally, the revelation I have been waiting for during 20 years occurred. The traumatic experience I was guessing was uncovered by a friend. A few days later, another friend helped me to explore a deeper aspect of this trauma. For more than a week, I have been feeling and crying over this difficult experience again and again. Since then, many tensions in my back have released.

I have also started to explore past lives and their influences on my actual behavior and patterns. Compared to the past life regressions I experienced before, the Sacred Work helped me to dive much deeper into these very old memories, and most important, to finally let go of all these energies and beliefs that have been making my life a very unhappy and isolated life.

I understand the efficiency and the depth of the Sacred Work to be the result of a very powerful combination: Sai Baba’s love and guidance, Raaman’s very strong involvement and extreme sensitivity, the support provided among the SacredSangha students, and the simplicity and natural power of the releasing technique.

Among Raaman’s actual six students, I am the only man. I greatly benefit from the love and attention of five very sensitive women. It is a real challenge for my old habit of withdrawing and living like a hermit.

With Sai Baba, Raaman, and his Sangha community, I found more than the help I prayed for. It is giving me a direction for a new life, which I could have not even have imagined possible.

NIRUSAI

 

Whenever I write and reflect on my life experience since I’ve met Raaman, I always come to the point of total awe of what has happened to me and who I am now. It dawns on me once again how it’s simply a living miracle who I’ve become.

Who I was supposed to become was a woman that struggled and hoped to connect to her partner, that tried to love her children and tried to make enough money and be good enough to give them a good education. I was supposed to become a person that tried to feel her life was meaningful and that she was useful in some way. I was supposed to be someone that struggled hopelessly to find peace in the middle of dirtiness, chaos and outworn structures. Sadly but true, I saw myself most likely ending up as an unhappy woman in an unhappy relationship. 

I would have had to settle for being what others expected of me, never knowing what I could expect from myself. Comforted by the opinion of others, never knowing what I truly thought and felt. I would’ve comforted myself with made up stories about myself, never knowing any deeper truth, nor deeper meaning. I would’ve never known how Truth and Love feel.

What has happened to me? Can it be put in words? Can it be described? Can the Truth behind the words I am writing right now actually be perceived?

I was born in Santiago, Chile, and grew up in a family of intellectuals and politicians. Knowledge and informed opinions was what held value, and so I put all my efforts in gaining my parents approval through my studies. I worked hard in diverse organizations caring for the social inequalities of my country, and felt intense worry about how I perceived the world's situation. But even though I met the academic goals I set for myself (and along with that I had all that a girl in the world I lived in could ask for -friends, boyfriend, job, fun-), I felt dissatisfied. At age 17 I started my search for healing, and went through all sort of meditations and therapies. Eventually  I graduated as a Phychologist. It was what I had wished for. But when I was in it, I knew that that wasn't it. 

The problem was that before meeting Raaman I didn’t trust the part inside of myself which searched for a way out of my hamster wheel of should’s and would’s, fears and pain, why’s and why not’s. Because I had searched and felt nothing really worked, I didn’t trust THAT to guide me in the right direction, nor to find the right road. And if I was honest with myself, the possibility of coming out triumphantly from such a search, didn’t really exist.

In my world, THAT which searched made me feel lonely and outcast. It made me feel strange and a misfit to society. It made me feel ungrateful for what I did have. It simply made me feel wrong. I had to pretend along with everybody else that things were fine. I had to pretend that the healing I did satisfied me, and that the work I did helped others, I had to believe that I was good with all that. 

I didn’t have the experience of that inside of me which searched for a amazing life being supported, enhanced or being valuable in my life experience. And I mean amazing life. Not just "life". There was a part in me that dreamed BIG. It was a part inside of myself that had a gigantic vision of what my life could be. I didn't trust that power. I judged it as fantasy. I struggled. I wanted to follow, but I didn't know how. 

I didn’t know that for that you need a Teacher. In my conscious perception I didn’t want nor need a Teacher. I was avoiding the “teacher question” altogether. When I had looked in South America for alternative ways of living in New Age communities, I disliked to see dominant leaders and people that “followed”. 

So I wasn't looking for any Teacher. And then I met Raaman by total “coincidence” on a ferry. Every circumstance around how I met him left me with a sense of awe of how it was all just “magically arranged”. This feeling grew stronger and stronger, as I continued being in his presence.  I was invited to stay longer with him and his group of students and I couldn’t just “back out”. I just had to be there. 

Since the beginning Raaman told me that I carry a huge potential of trust inside, and I felt very confused. I actually considered that I had so much mistrust, and especially about him at that time. He was so different and not matching any ideas I had about spiritual teachers! "Becoming aware of your deep seated mistrust is part of my healing process", he said to me. 

I tested Raaman in every way, and in every new step I tested him once again. I tried to find some personal motivation or selfishness in him that would make me conclude that I couldn’t trust him and that it is the absolute wrong choice to commit myself further as a student and member of his Sangha. I searched and searched. I am a very stubborn Taurus and don’t change my ideas easily. And… just because I’m still here now after four years you can conclude by yourself what is the outcome of my hard evaluation of him….

After four years and a half with Raaman I am experiencing all the potentials which he told me at the beginning coming into fruition. Most important of all, I feel love for myself. I love myself for who I am and what I’ve been through. I love the life and path I’ve chosen.

I know I live the highest expression of myself in this moment, and that it will only expand and become more beautiful. It is not hope. Now I feel confidence and trust. There is an inner knowing that that’s how life is. That's how God wants it, and I have experienced how it’s possible to be in that harmony with life by constantly letting go.

I know it is not an easy path at all. Being in the presence of a Teacher brings up everything which you are ready to let go. Love brings up everything which is not love. Safety brings up all the feelings of unsafety that have been experienced in the past and stored in us. Real connection in the heart brings up all the feelings of disconnection and loneliness within us. But as I go through the challenges of transformation, my self confidence grows. Through the SACRED work and Raaman’s connection to Divinity, I live in the mystery of God’s healing power, and I know I have the tools to become That which I am meant to become.

I am now challenged to hold up the space for the transformation of clients and new members joining our Sangha. I see myself more and more growing into the role of a teacher, and learning how to develop more self-confidence in expressing my individual Truth. This growth is also happening through giving SACRED sessions, which is for me the experience of being God’s instrument for the healing of others. I know first handed how deep the SACRED work is and how it changes people’s lives, so I feel deeply honored to give sessions. I can hardly call it “work”. I see that where I help others the most is in the areas where I have gone through the most pain by myself, and this makes even the toughest parts of my life journey deeply meaningful.

Of most value for me is to now that I am surrounded by people whom I can honestly share myself, and with whom I share the same set of values. The Sangha is now the community of truthful relationships which I dreamed of in the past, but couldn’t really imagine existing. Could relationships not “tie me down”, but really help me in my path to freedom?

For this process I have had to allow all my prior relationships to fully change. Many changes were extremely difficult for me to trust in the beginning. I was very scared to let go and to not know what would happen to me and the connections to my family and friends. But I knew I had to let go and trust.The outcomes of this “leap of faith” still surprises me. As I come into deeper understanding for the pain I suffered, and also had caused in the past, forgiveness and peace arise.

The biggest of these miracles and worth all the efforts by itself was the emotional reconnection to my father.  The ugliness of my parents’ divorce had left me with so much confusion, traumas and scars, that what was left between me and him were feeling betrayed and disappointed. Through Raaman’s intervention we started connecting through mails again and eventually he visited me in Sai Baba’s ashram. I have reestablished a profound, honest and nurturing connection with him and he supports me in my quest for freedom. He told me, that by seeing me honestly happy, he feels that he accomplished something great in his life. And that for the first time in 75 years, and as he saw his daughter venture into something he couldn’t understand, he trusted God. hrough my own self satisfaction, he feels peace in his heart. 

How my life has becoming so deeply meaningful, I cannot really explain. I didn't even wish to be on a spiritual path. But I wanted to be happy, and I when I met Raaman I felt for the first time in my life an unexplainable and fully determined "yes, this is what I have been praying for".

My life has fully shifted into putting Truth and transformation first. More and more my ego looses the grip on me, and I take a grip on him. I know that my aim is to let go and that it is possible. I know that "love is radical decision to defy the ego's voice", and that I can do it. I have taken that radical decision. 

...And my life has become surprising, miraculous and fulfilling. In everyday life my creative expression keeps exploding into all kinds of forms and any ideas I had about what it means of being "spiritual" have no substance anymore.  

I cook, I sing, I write. I sleep in my hammock in nature and wake up in the morning knowing God is on my side. Each morning I feel so deeply grateful for the life I have.  

Here are some words I have written in my diary some time ago:

Can this be me? Who and what got me to this hammock spot, to these warm clothes, to this perfect sunrise? 

Can I be the one that experiences such peace, such freedom, such joy for life? How is it that I feel safe, that I feel home? 

Can all these miracles be happening to me? 

What power has made it possible that I have a spiritual teacher and a life in Truth? What power has given me the self courage to transform, to let go, to embrace a whole new way of life and follow my heart? 

I smile. I close my eyes. The early morning sun shines on my face. And I feel Love in my heart.